August 18th, 2011
It takes a great deal of character stregnth to apologize quickly and out of the heart, rather than out of pity. A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and values to genuinely apologize.
-Stephen R. Covey
They Got This Call Right
Baseball is near to my heart, but I really enjoy the ‘human’ aspect of most sports, the people behind the stats.
Last year I wrote about an incredible juxtaposition of sporting events, and unexpectedly, tonight the story continues.
After viewing a most despicable display of poor sportsmanship by adults at a local lacrosse tournament, and lamenting the reaction I saw on younger, impressionable fans, we came home to the news that with 2 outs in the 9th inning, an ump blew a call, costing the pitcher the holy grail of pitching, a perfect game.
After the game, incredibly, the umpire, Jim Joyce was in tears, apologizing, knowing what he cost that pitcher.
In turn, and even more surprisingly, the pitcher, Armando Galarraga could not have been more gracious. Their mutual respect towards each other, and their goodness in handling a bad situation well, and with grace brought tears to my eyes.
Today, it was announced that this very umpire, who was a well-respected member of the umpiring crew before this event-was voted best umpire in major league baseball by the players themselves. And it wasn’t a squeaker, either; he received 35% of the vote, almost double what the next vote-getter received.
There are lots of lessons here, and all of them good. Thanks, MLB players-you got this call right.
Tags: Jim Joyce, life lessons, playing nice, the right attitude
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July 9th, 2011
What IS It About People Like Ellen, Julia and Tom?
Earlier in the week, heading out the door, turned the TV on to check the weather on the local 2 minute traffic/2 minute weather channel. NBC is the default channel that shows up first, the talk show ELLEN was on.
It was an audience quiz segment, where they were all up on a big stage, and if they gave the wrong answer, the floor disappeared underneath them. YIKES!
I knew how it would turn out (hugs and smiles all around), yet on a no-time-to-spare kind of day, I sat down watched Ellen poke fun at some of her audience…THEN a commercial for Larry Crowe, the new Julia Roberts-Tom Hanks movie.
That’s right, the same commercial we all have already seen, maybe 30 times. And it still made me smile.
We all know people we are just drawn to…but why? Whether media celebrity, the guy at the hardware store, your dentist, the vet-even a Home Stager or Realtor-what is it that just makes us like some people so thoroughly and in many cases, almost immediately??
While initally curious just for curiousity’s sake, of course it led to pondering these things in the context of running my business. What are these vital qualities that not only get the job, but insure good communication, then paves the way to a great result?
After a week of thining and observing, here is my certainly subjective, and probably partial list:
We all like people who like to have fun, and have a joyful attitude. Even silly is ok. Those choosing-to-be-happy, glass half-full types make us feel good.
They/their characters may poke fun of, or tease, but are never mean or mean-spirited. No one gets hurt, insulted, or embarrassed.
We like people who make us feel good. Easily, and naturally, they reinforce some essence we believe to be true, generally or specifically: Life is good. My dog is beautiful and loves me. I care about what I do. Even when it’s not all unicorns and rainbows. I have a cavity, but my flossing is better.
They don’t put ‘space’ between you and them. Of course there are boundries, not expecting an invite to a BBQ from Ellen/Julia/Tom-OR my dentist, anyone from Hecht’s (my favorite hardware store), or any of my (MANY) favorite Realtors. But in whatever the connection, it’s about the matter at hand, not about them.
We like knowing what they stand for. They are passionate about what they do. Sometimes, even if you don’t agree with them, you admire them for walking the walk.
Ellen champions equal rights and pet adoption; we run a fair business, coach Little League, and run book sales at the library.
Julia and Tom each won an Oscar for portraying regular people fighting injustices (Erin Brockovich, enviormental crimes; Andrew Beckett, a lawyer fired because he had AIDS); we can sing in the choir, walk to raise funds, or lead a Scout troop.
They/their characters-are thoughtful and kind. Julia’s Evil Queen in Snow White is not due out til 2012, but betting on a Evil Queen with a soft side. Tom was a hit-man in Road to Perdition, but hit man with a cause.
And I love my dentist and his staff. Even though it seems I am STILL not flossing enough, I leave appointments feeling smarter and cared-for.
Mirror, mirror on the wall-what qualities do YOU think make people the fairest of all??
Tags: owning a business, playing nice
Posted in A Day In The Life, Reality Check, Smiles | No Comments »
March 24th, 2011
-where the tradition of shaking hands came from?
In early times, people carried weapons in their right hands.
When someone wanted to show another that they wished to be friendly, they extended an empty right hand showing that it held no weapon.
To make sure that neither could suddenly draw a weapon, they grasped each other’s hand firmly until sure they were in agreement.
The actual shaking of the hands may have been for the purpose of dislodging any hidden weapons.
STILL won’t chalk a bone-crushing shake up to a bad gene re-surfacing, but if only tactics, and weaponry were this simple today.
Tags: playing nice
Posted in Did You Know, I'm Just Sayin' | No Comments »
November 5th, 2010
Am I the only one, 72 hours out, still feeling bruised, bullied, even dirtied from all the political campaigns?
Regardless of your affiliation, it was hard to escape the rancor or this electoral season, harder to imagine this not carrying over, or the sessions to follow accomplishing anything of importance with this bad attitude.
Personally and professionally, I have always felt dealing with people directly, and with respect is how to get things done. ”Incivility” is a word I first read in an op-ed piece in the NY Times about the message our preoccupation with our electronic devices really sends; loved it.
Very fortuitously, just as the dust is settling and the posturing is starting, I found a short essay, with a simple suggestion that I would call brilliant.
Joe Reeder is a former assistant secretary of the Army, and a lawyer in Washington. In a piece written earlier this year, he describes a quick, easy, no-cost, no downside way to help neutralize partisan nonsense so all our elected officials can really focus on the task at hand. http://www.aarp.org/politics-society/government-elections/info-05-2010/break_up_political_parties.html.
If you want your elected officials to walk that walk, please consider sharing this with them. Common 
courtesy and professional respect, now THAT would be a refreshed house we could all get behind!!
Tags: good idea, playing nice, post election, the right attitude
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July 27th, 2010
“Home” is both universal and intimate in nature. People get involved in Real Estate for a myriad of reasons. It’s not just a product or a paycheck, it’s a way to assist-connect-facilitate-another’s happiness and sense of security. Some times are easier than others (!!!), but deep down, true Home Professionals know this is where they are supposed to be.
The Heart: People who come primarily from this place are not just nice, they really are all about o
thers-their comforts, concerns, issues and needs come first.
Great quality in a friend or spouse, but depending on the degre and the other personalities involved, it can slow, stop, even reverse a business transaction.
Polar opposite of The Gut, they are pleasant to deal with, but present a real challenge in business. To make decisions and move forward, the decision makers need to well, decide…which means taking some stands and putting their needs ahead of others-not their comfort zone.
They are deliberate, speaking, moving and thinking slowly. They consider all options, and rebel if you try to nudge things along before they are ready. They want you to like them.
These sellers still have every report card, lost tooth and piece of macaroni art
from their grown children; these buyers find something special about each house and the people who live there…which then makes them reconsider, just where the heck did they get this crazy idea to buy another house and move in the first place??
It takes longer for these s
ellers to get their house ready for sale. Slow and steady win the race, but their being highly motivated to start with is a close second.
They know how easy it is to get wrapped up in someone elses’ “stuff”-and understand how it would take attention away from the business at hand, getting their house sold. Also-focusing on the prize at the end:-a yard for the kids, rooms for visitors to stay, or one-level living for a loved one-will be what moves this seller forward.
Buyers who come from the heart will linger when attention is paid to the ‘secondary’ rooms-kid’s room, guest rooms, even the powder rooms.
They will appreciate the fresh towels, nice soaps and fluffed bed pillows. These are the people that we light fires in the fireplace and put out homemade cookies for. Welcoming kitchens, and discussions of how many people could fit in the Dining Room will put a sparkle in this buyer’s eye.
They can frustrate agents and annoy more quickly moving people on the other end of the transaction, but remember the parable about the Wind and the Sun?
They disagreed who was more powerful, and decided the winner would be whoever could make a 
passer-by remove their overcoat The Wind went first….stong and blustery, he blew and blew, trying to blow the coat off; but the passer-by only wrapped the coat around themselves more tightly.
Then it was the Sun’s turn. He shone and radiated, and in short order, the gentle warmth induced the coat to be taken off.
NEXT: Behold The Head
Tags: avoiding anxiety, owning a business, playing nice
Posted in A Day In The Life, GTK, Home Selling and Home Staging, I'm Just Sayin' | No Comments »
June 3rd, 2010
It’s Not If You Win Or Lose…
Last night I attended my first high school Lacrosse game. LAX to non-neophytes, it was the Section A Championship Finals, Yorktown vs Walter Panas/Lakeland.
My husband Doug is from Yorktown, it’s big in his family, as it is thru the whole town. (Semi-bragging/full disclosure, my brother-in-law Dave attended St. John’s on full LAX scholarship, and is now the varsity team’s face-off coach; my other brother-in-law Jim is a youth coach, and his son/our nephew Austin is in 8th grade, and by all accounts, an awesome goalie with a very bright future). ANYWAY
Game was fast-paced, teams seemed closely matched, and crowd was really into it. Score see-sawed til the 4th quarter. Lakeland went up by 2 goals. Then Yorktown came back, tied the score, but lost in OT.
Obvious reasons aside, it was a very tough loss to take, because it seems there were a number of controversial calls that went to Lakeland. (See, lucky for me I was sitting in the rowdy adult fan section. Ignoring Section 1 rules on sportsmanship, the rest of us were kept apprised of this by some very loud, potty-mouthed yahoos).
Don’t understand the game, can’t speak to the validity of their claims, but every time these faux-adults booed the refs, or screamed out a number of other un-sportsmanlike epithets, we saw dozens of young kids wearing Yorktown green jerseys-who were certainly disappointed themselves, turned and just looked up at these belligerent, rude people in the stands.
Many from the town’s Youth Athletic league, probably a lot of future players in this group. Their expressions said it all. In a moment I saw things shift: I felt this collective, very bad lesson learned, and I ached for them all.
Come home to the TV news, only to see the story of Detroit pitcher’s Armando Galarraa
ga’s perfect game, blown by a call the ump who later, tearfully, admitted was wrong. Photo to the right is of Armando, a split second after the call went against him.
Baseball I know and love. Historically there are no do-overs. In the hundreds and hundreds of thousands of professional baseball games, there have been 20 perfect games. This morning there is quite the firestorm, and the debate is re-ignited for instant replay. As I write this, it is being reported that the Commissioner’s Office is having a meeting to review this call, but it remains to be seen what, if anything might happen.
If you haven’t already seen it, google Galarraga’s post-game interview. Such class and grace, a lesson for us all. In the words of one morning news anchor, it should be required viewing for all youth sports players, their parents and coaches…from his mouth, to the dinner tables in Yorktown tonight.
Tags: a day in the life, lacrosse. lessons learned, local events, playing nice, the right attitude, Yorktown
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